wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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