Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
