I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
