hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
