With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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