well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
