No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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