discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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