it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This girl is more easily done than said...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
