you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
