Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
