hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
