And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
this is an emotional support booty call
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
