Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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