There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
