Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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