somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
