But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
