The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
