Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
