Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
