And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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