maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
