K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
