You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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