it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
