woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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