My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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