Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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