my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
