Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
