So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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