For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
