wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
