I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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