the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
