i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
