guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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