Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think your dad took our porno
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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