I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
