I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
