and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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