No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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