One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there was a trapeze. enough said
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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