I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
