someone get that fucking seahorse.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
