people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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