Sry I called you an 8
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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