Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
