i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
