what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
