He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
