Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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