Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
