Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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