i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
